escapism

truth be told; this exam period has been a form of escape for me.

i’m freed from my typical responsibilities by friends and family who understand that while i do need this time to be alone and concentrate on my studies, what they don’t know is that during this time, i am truly capable of taking time off to sit down and think about the heavy things in life.

what will my direction be in five, ten – perhaps even twenty years if i dare to dream that far?

opportunities have come knocking on my door – some offering me a choice to do what i like, others reminding me of my duty, and even now, some that remind me that i am far from perfect as a person. i have much to learn to improve myself.

maybe i am weak-willed; in the sense that during this exam period, i’ve not foussed all my energies on being the best i can be for the exams – but a little, tiny part of me tells me to look beyond the tangible that the exam offers. gpa grading aside, exams force us to make a decision in our lives. it tests our resolve to commit to changes in our lives. it challenges the very fundamental of the things we claim to believe in.

ultimately, it is a test of maturity in a very materialistic way.

 

and perhaps in the near future, my beloved country will realize that results aside – exams are definitely not the be all, end all towards one’s person worth. the world needs to change its mindset once more. that the true mark of a matured person, lies not in the results delivered, the rationalizations and justifications given for their actions, but rather, a person who is willing to stick by his beliefs towards the very end – even at the cost of great peril, great pain.

 

we were once called the outliers, and we still are. but it is the outliers that push the limits of our reality. like pioneers of the old, innovators of the present, the outliers will become the hope of tomorrow.

and its in these nights, these rare nights of clarity – that i dare bear some semblance of hope.

hope that all i’ve gone through is not for naught.

hope that it will make me a better person.

and most importantly -

 

hope that it will give me strengths to face the trials i’ve yet to seen, the pain i’ve yet to feel – and moreover – the strength to bear these tribulations.

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