define : lonely

its that two moments when you wake up -

(i dare not say morning since most of my friends have already abandoned that pursuit)

- when all you hear is the relentless beat of your heart,

the silent whirring of your mechanical fan.

the floor is filled with laundry, papers, books.

(an organized chaos you are so proud of)

the door’s slightly ajar, sun streaming in.

you are cold -

(you reach over to your throw-over)

[somehow, somewhere, we've lost the ability to use blanket,

it's one syllable too much]

to find some warmth in it.

 

denied.

(your throw-over proclaims)

you focus your squint,

hands searching for your tinted glasses.

gazing -

the room is impossibly filled,

yet – impossibly empty.

perhaps it’s the lack of photographs,

a missing portrait.

another human face to occupy the void.

 

your heart continues its relentless beat,

the fan does it’s duty mechanically.

a light typing on a keyboard.

a futile attempt to define

 

loneliness.

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